|Who is that young girl up there, anyway?
||[Sep. 8th, 2007|02:39 am]
I am trying to remember, did I ever imagine myself back at my mother's house? Did I ever imagine myself at 23? I can only recall myself as a universal concept: an invincible, yet placid, free and ageless being. But right now, I feel the lethargy of time passed. My body and brain swollen and immobile. I'm not usually into self-pity parties, but a surmountable itch wants me out of here, the same travel bug I had in Kalamazoo. Detroit should calm my nerves, for a little while anyway.
Currently, this nasty thing in my blood has manifested itself, "mono", the doctor called it. I really have been kissing all the wrong people. Nothing I didn't already know. Once I can crawl out of this sleepy cocoon I'm wrapped up in, once I regain my strength, I'll be back on the ball. I'll be back on my bike. I'll feel alive. I'll be living in the present tense again. And, right away- I will eat some yummy Indian food.
That said, I am an alumni and not working at CVS photo, where I was three years ago when last living here in the ace deuce. Things ain't so bad. My mom has been feeling real sorry for me too. So bad, today when I doddered to the living room couch, she announced her proud purchase of Bob Dylan and Elvis Costello tickets (for me!). Right on, Momma Souris!
I have been listening to a lot of new music lately, reading stacks of books collected from visiting the friends of the library book store and the like around Kalamazoo for five years, watching movies with ma. Only a whiskey drink might complete this. I've stayed sober to aid the healing process. So far, I've only become increasingly mentally unhinged; is this healthier?
I used to think this room had a tick to it, modern appliances. The ticking breeds in something thicker. It keeps getting caught in my ear and I want to grab it, step on it and shout, "That'll show ya!". It's energy always flows down, t-implosion. Before it goes off, I'll be running North not paying attention to the fireworks behind me.